The Tale of Joey the Pinata
Hi, my name's Joey the Donkey Pinata. But you can call me Joe. I live in the local party store. Life here is good, despite some of my Pinata buddies disappearing. Life use to be peaceful and easy, until yesterday. Here's what happened:
It was normal day like any other. A few customers. I was talking to my friend Jesus the Cactus Pinata. The door opened and in walked a fat man with a whiny child. The fat man said "Pick which one you want Kenny." The whiny child looked up at me and Jesus the Cactus Pinata and pointed straight...at....me! Before I knew it I was thrown into a trunk of a car! After what seemed hours of driving, we arrived at a small home. They took me from the trunk and shoved me into a closet. I yelled and yelled for someone to help me, but no one did.
The next day, the wife as the fat man calls her, takes me out of the closet and onto a table. She brings out a bowl of sweet things wrapped in paper. She begins filling me with them in a rude manner! Afterwards, the whiny kid comes in and starts begging the wife for candy the sweet stuff wrapped in paper. She said he'd have to wait for his friends to come... wait, there is more of him? This can't be good. Later that day, they took me into their backyard and laid me down on a table. Soon other whiny children showed up.
After a lot of screaming, kicking and yelling the whiny children lined up near a tree. The fat man picked me up and tied a rope around my middle, then hung me from the tree. What could this be? Some strange ritual? The whiny children started grabbing bats. Wait, bats? The whiny kid Kenny comes up first. I must escape! The fat man blindfolds him. Uh, maybe I'm supposed to bat him? He swings, and misses my head by hardly an inch! He takes off his blindfold and looks at me disappointed. After many whacks to me, the whiny children stop attacking me. I'm beaten and bludgeoned.
It looks as if the torment is over. But then the fat man comes forth with a bat as well. He raises it high above his head! He brings it down on my stomach! It was gruesome! My insides spilling everywhere! The whiny children viciously fighting each other for them like hungry wolves! It was horrible. He soon untied me from the tree, and throw me in a bin. Days later, I was taken once again. Now, I live all alone in the local dump. But hey, it isn't that bad. I met Jesus the Cactus here a few weeks later. He was missing his hat, but otherwise fine. And that, is my tale. So think next time you beat a pinata, think "What if this thing has feelings? Should I be doing this?" So please, stop the cruelty and abuse of pinatas everywhere!